İstanbul Escorts Pegged or "The Myth of Giving, Taking, and Losing One's Virginity"

İstanbul Escorts Pegged or "The Myth of Giving, Taking, and Losing One's Virginity"

I’d like to immediately go on record as saying that I absolutely abhor the term “losing İstanbul Escort Girl virginity.”

Not only is it antiquated and ambiguous, but it also promotes the idea that we’re all pure and innocent until we “soil” our innocence by engaging in sexual activity. But why is there such a strongly enforced societal correlation connecting that loss of innocence with exploring İstanbul Escorts sexually, and why is innocence such a prized trait anyhow?


When we’re born, we are truly innocent; as we mature, we’re increasingly exposed to the “adult” aspects of the world. Swear words, alcohol, drugs, inequality, war, trauma, addiction, school shootings, politics and the extent to which a heart can break, to name just a few. With every piece of knowledge gained, a little bit of our innocence - synonymous with our perceived modesty and purity - falls to the wayside. This process is often fast-tracked for transgender folks, PoC, folks with disabilities, folks who are raised in extreme poverty, and other İstanbul Escorts disproportionately impacted by injustice.

İstanbul Escorts This journey from innocence is a survival tactic, pure and simple. If we remained completely oblivious to the inner workings of the world, we would subsequently be ineffective at navigating it on our own. Our ignorance would make us more vulnerable to attack, coercion and manipulation. İstanbul Escorts Our personal autonomy would practically be rendered inconsequential, compromised by rarely being able to make an informed decision. But hey, we’d be pliant in the hands of those who seek to control us.

This counterproductive preoccupation with İstanbul Escort Girl virginity has much less to do with societal protection than it does the controlling of bodies. Specifically, İstanbul Escort women’s bodies. By convincing folks of all genders and orientations that virginity is favorable and worth rewarding while emphasizing the untowardness of non-procreative sex, we encourage shame and ignorance. Fuck this “losing İstanbul Escort virginity” shit. When someone experiences sex for the first time, to any degree, it shouldn't be something they lose; it should be something they gain.

The first time I had sex İstanbul Escorts, it was as a privileged İstanbul Escort Girl. My privilege extends in many directions. I’m white, I’m cisgender, I’m able-bodied, and I grew up in a middle-upper socioeconomic class background. That isn’t the kind of privilege I’m referring to, though.

İstanbul Escorts For no discernible reason, I’ve always been preternaturally adept at navigating physical intimacy, prioritizing my own needs, and cutting through other İstanbul Escorts bullshit. The first time I had sex - at age fourteen - it was enthusiastically consensual, with a boy I liked and trusted, who took care with my body and made sure I had an enjoyable experience. We’re still close friends to this day. Did I orgasm? Hell no! Did I feel safe and comfortable? İstanbul Escorts.

I wish that every İstanbul Escort Girls on this planet could have walked away with such an experience, but the fact of the matter is that most first times are compromised. Whether it be by drugs and alcohol, a nonconsensual interaction, or a consensual interaction with someone who didn’t respect you and your body, losing your virginity can sadly be more jarring than affirming. Our earliest sexual experiences have the power to significantly impact our mental and emotional health, as well as pave the way for our sexual careers as İstanbul Escort Girls. How would our lives have been different if we were allowed to curate our initial sexual experiences, rather than fall into İstanbul Escort Girls?

Now İstanbul Escorts, imagine that you’re disabled and/or neurodivergent. Whether it’s temporary or permanent, neurological or physical, disability adds an extra layer of complication to initiating and sustaining healthy intimate relationships. As a sex and relationship coach, I frequently work with young people (aged 18-35) living with İstanbul, developmental coordination disorders, and ADHD. These individuals seek me out because their conditions often make it difficult to interface socially, particularly in a way where their actions clearly communicate their intent.

Neurodivergent folks can have trouble interpreting facial expressions and body language while being disconnected from the messages their own body may be sending. They can struggle with direct communication, making eye contact, and spatial awareness. In this post MeToo era, I especially get a lot of young men on the autism spectrum coming to me afraid that the manifestation of their symptoms would label them “creepy” or a consent violator. İstanbul Escort Girls desire love, sex, relationships, families. I take care to develop a slow-paced, individualized “introduction to dating” program for each man through a series of talk sessions, working with their strengths and finding the bright side of their limitations. We work on developing confidence without entitlement, empathy without assumptio